How a Simple List Can Help Your Relationship AND Relieve Stress
To help your relationship, start discussing your chores! This is what is recommended to start helping you and your partner.
I hate doing chores! Who doesn’t? However, when you’re a parent, the chore lists seem to grow and grow! After a while, these chores may make you start to resent your partner or think that you do more than they do.
Well, according to Laura Vanderkam and Sarah Hart-Unger who have a podcast about work and life balance, there is actually a simple solution.
I am a proud father of 5. You can imagine the amount of chores both my wife and I have to take care of between taking the older kids to school events, toting them to their friends’ houses, bringing them to other functions, and taking care of the younger ones, not to mention everything unexpected that life has in store for us daily (that can be a lot from day to day). There are many times that both my wife and I have thought that we do more than the other partner.
The problem we have is that we sometimes do not realize everything that our partner does from day-to-day. We see them as just going to work and then doing a minimal amount at home. However, this could be very far from the truth once you look into what your partner actually does.
Since both sides may think that they do more than the other, Laura and Sarah have come up with a simple solution. Create a list!
What?! That’s kinda dumb. Right? Well, actually they have found that when creating a simple list, you may start to realize that your partner does a lot more than you even think of. It can even:
- Make the mental load of these daily chores more reasonable and can even make the load more enjoyable
- Help split the responsibilities between both partners to also help mentally and physically
- So what do I put on this list?
The two women say to:
- Each person writes down all the family responsibilities they’re currently taking care of
- Each person needs to share which of the responsibilities they enjoy and which ones they don’t
You may come to be surprised to find that you are actually doing a smaller amount of chores than your other half. For example, Laura shared an example of how her husband does things like putting air in the kids’ tires and always keeps their bikes maintained. Although this may be a small chore, it is a great example of things that are overlooked. Now, if you overlook something like this, how many other daily things are you potentially overlooking? Writing these all down will help each other identify everything that the other does and could help your relationship.
The second part to the solution is to figure out which responsibilities are enjoyed and which ones are disliked. From there, you may be able to further identify solutions to these.
The two suggest that if there are chores that are disliked, you can possibly trade these with your partner. They go on to say that if there are chores that both of you dislike, maybe it’s something you may want to outsource. If outsourcing is not an option, one of you just need to buckle down and just do it anyway.
The Bottom Line
If each partner creates a list of chores that they both like and dislike, the tensions can become less, which can reduce stress between the relationship and actually bring both of you closer. So put it simply, to help your relationship, share the list.
One final thought… You need to make sure you get enough sleep. If you are not getting enough sleep, we suggest reading our Sleep article that explains our frustration on not getting enough sleep.
What are your thoughts? Do you think that discussing and sharing the load is a great way to help make things better between you? Have you ever tried this? Let us know below.